The Unpredictable

Suicide. Is it a cowardly act or a brave one? On one hand we have those who would agree that taking away your life is unacceptable and selfish. While others might say that they are the strongest persons since they are able to face death. What I’ve learned in my psychology classes is that death is one of the things that the people must fear, since its something you can’t control. That’s the scary part. I’m I going to die today? Next week? 10 years?  It is unpredictable for all, except for those who decide to commit suicide. I would say that the fear, for those committing suicide, reduces since they know when and how they are going to die. So, are they still the bravest persons on earth?
I don’t accept the act of taking away your own life. I know I’m not on the position of arguing that those who kill themselves are the most selfish persons because I was never on their position and I don’t know what they were feeling and going through. But I still belief that there’s always a way out of every problem. As people use to quote “as one door closes, another one opens.” There are tons of people who are fighting diseases, such as cancer, who would give up anything to continue living. As they are trying to fight death, there are those who are planning it. Leaving behind their families with a bunch of problems. Do they even think of the consequences that their death can bring?

Apparently Brent Runyon didn’t think of the aftermath. He set himself on fire without thinking in what might happen if he doesn’t die. We can see that he is scared and knows that he screwed up when he calls 911 and states “Oh God, just tell them to get here, just tell them to get here, okay?” (Pg.23)
What I quite don’t understand is why he wants to die. From what I’ve read it seems to me that he was the clown of the class with lots of friends. But at the same time he blames himself for everything. One example is when he blames himself for being the one Megan likes. “This is bad because I know how much Stephen likes her. Why do I have to screw this up for him? I hate myself.” (Pg.9)
At the same time we know that he has tried to commit suicide more than one time. “I’ve tried hanging…I tried to take pills…And all the times I tried to cut my wrists, I could never cut deep enough.” (Pg. 17)
Why does he want to kill himself? Is it because a lack of attention from his parents and brother? Whatever it is, he is too small to be thinking in killing himself.